Last of the Blue-Blood Greaser Boys

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 05:31:21 GMT

It's a sad day, but now things are official: my blog has moved to myspace, because livejournal, apparently, is passe. So track me down at http://www.myspace.com/piaobo or just search Gentry Thurman.,

Cheers.

Mon, 28 May 2007 06:23:08 GMT

It's been hella long since I've updated this. I'll fill you all in on some exciting developments.

A few months ago, I was cast into a proffesional theater company here in Pittsburgh. It's a big deal, equity card and so forth. Our first show is coming up this weekend, it's about a Darfur refugee. Send me a message to get the info, it's gonna be a good show.

I've got a live-in brother coming, and I'm not sure the house is ready for him. Oh well, we'll see how that plays out. He's a good kid, he can handle himself. In addition, a bunch of the roomates are moving next door and some new roomates are moving in. We still have the open door, geek-flop-house feel, but now it applies to two houses and 8 people instead of one house and 4.

I'm currently juggling four jobs. The first is at the Sharper Image selling novelty electronics. The second is at Specialty Luggage, selling luggage and purses and things. The third is the aformentioned theater gig. The fourth and last- get ready for this- I'm tutoring emotionally challenged grade schoolers in Ohio. It's a bitch of a commute, but I hold down the fort, despite my total lack of qualifications for the position.

I'm single again, ladies. Turns out I still can't get a date for hell, they kind of have to fall into my lap, but that's just as well; turns out girlfriends are time consuming and expensive.

My life is busy, which is much better than the alternative, and it keeps me away from my computer, because, well, I have a lot to do now. So this is a message for those I've had a hard time keeping up with: My bad, I promise I'll meet up with you when things calm down.

I hope all is well with ya'll. Cheers.

Sun, 06 May 2007 06:58:21 GMT

Life is full of small moments that pass us by unrecorded and drift past our memory and are lost despite their beauty and the way they hit us in the present. I'm gonna record one of those, right now, so I don't lose it.

I went to house party tonight. Not the best party I've ever been to, to be sure, but far from the worst. I was hit on- that's right, Gentry was pursued- by a young woman. I demured to move on it, partially because she wasn't that attractive, partially because drunk girls are off limits, but still, ego boost nontheless. Tyler and I won a few games of Beruit and headed for home. On the way off the parkway, Bob Seger's "Night Moves" came on the radio- suiting the 3 AM mood perfectly. A small pile of leaves had gathered for the last legs of the trip and I slowed down through them, at which point Tyler turns to me and says "I used to drive through piles of leaves full speed, until I realized that as a child I hid in those very same piles of leaves."

Yeah. Good company. It was a great moment. It's tough to describe, Iguess, but it was there and it was awesome.

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:30:06 GMT

THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS!
ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT?
So, it's coming. Saturday, April 15th. In order to play, YOU MUST send me an e-mail with your name, phone number, number of people you'll be bringing, and whether you want to play as a ninja or a superspy. My e-mail is gentry.thurman@gmail.com and in order for this to work, I NEED to know how many people are playing and on which team.

The setup is going to be a game similiar to capture the flag. If you are a superspy, your job is to stealth into the ninja compound and rescue the President. If you're a ninja, your job is to prevent the President from being rescued for long enough to grab your ransom. I'll have two locations picked out, one inside in case of rain and one outside if it's nice, and I will be using your phone numbers day of to let you know which is which.

So start thinking of costumes and pick your side- get back to me. Cheers.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 03:14:46 GMT

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 05:52:39 GMT

As the Irish always tend to interfere with my plans, my Mafia party has been pushed back to Sunday, March 11th. Apparently the 4th is St. Patty's Day, and for some reason, people wanna celebrate it.

I don't have time to put up my rational for my oscar picks, but here they are:

Picture:
Little Miss Sunshine; but it's a close race. The Departed could win too.

Actor:
Forrest Whitaker

Supporting Actor:
Eddie Murphay

Actress:
Hellen Mirran

Supporting Actress:
Jennifer Hudson

Director:
Martin Scorsese

Animated Film:
Happy Feet

Foreign Language:
Pan's Labyrinth

Original Screenplay:
Little Miss Sunshine (although it'd be nice to see Pan's Labyrinth win here, too)

Best Adapted:
The Departed, although Borat could sneak in a win

Documentary:
Oddly enough, the only catagory I'm passionate about this year. Jesus Camp was a triumph of documentary filmaking; it'll get beat by An Inconvient Truth.

Cinematography:
Pan's Labyrinth

Editing:
The Departed, although I could see Babel sneaking in here.

Score:
Uh, Babel? No, erm, hmmm. Pan's Labyrinth. Yeah, that's my pick. Pan's Labyrinth.

Song:
Something from Dreamgirls. Hmmm. "Listen".

Art Direction:
Pan's Labyrinth

Costume Design:
Dreamgirls.

Sound Editing:
Uh. Where's Dreamgirls? How about Letters from Iwo Jima.

Sound Mixing:
Dreamgirls.

Visual Effects:
Pirates of the Carribean

Makeup:
Pan's Labyrinth.

Animated Short Film:
The Little Matchgirl. I always get this one right. Animated Short, don't fail me now.

Short Doc:
Recycled Life

Short Live:
West Bank Story

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 13:37:57 GMT

I like noir, billiards, pretty girls, comic books, good movies, bad movies, over-the-top rock anthems, World of Warcraft, Pepsi, my job, manhattans, hot sauce, lame fantasy novels, Star Trek, Star Wars, stout, guys with boss sideburns, "singing" karaoke, funny commercials, Johnathan Letham, David Bowie, internet forum drama, writing short prose, Boston, Baseball, Wikipedia, board games, good hamburgers, the idea that jetpacks will someday be commercially availible, pretending I'm Freddy Mercury and Brian May at the same time, rock climbing, hoola hoops, laughing at sports I'm bad at, dancing at so-called innapropriate times, blankets just out of the dryer, black-and-white photography, bunny slippers, Wagner, The Sharp Edge, cigarettes, James Bond, linguistics, Eat'n'Park, philosophy, Salmon Rushdie, Anthony Hopkins, kittens, the texture of Gnocci, Ft. Meyers, ice skating, Coast to Coast FM, Costner-esque speeches on things people like, Munich, the sound tattoo needles make, puns, stage magic, Stephen King, e-mails with content, driving, autumn, crossword puzzles, the power of the Bittorrent, the idea someone has read this far, iPod alternatives, Boxing, the Oscars, getting packages, acting, art theives, really early rap, the Wii, pinball, laughing at bad jokes, sarcasm, and the smell bakeries have when you're hungry.

There. Now no website ever need ask my intrests again, it's on paper, and if you need to find them, just reference this entry.

If you're on the following list, we should hang out soon because it's been a while:
The Sensational Stiles' (apostrophe added to denote the plural)
Lizzie Donaldson
Lara Borasso
Erica Lopes
Teh Harrisonmonster
Kelsey
Kemperatamous Prime

If small details like distance make it tough, how about a phone call/e-mail? You have the number/address, and chances are I don't have yours.
Cheers

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 09:35:40 GMT

PJers: On the NAF, GAB compared me (in the "open letter to GAB") thread to Cheese Bricklayer. As a long time fan of Mr. Bricklayer's, I'd like to say that it's one of the proudest moments of my life. Thank you all for supporting me into that role.

That is all.

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:11:56 GMT

Whoa, two entries in less than a couple of days. What's going on? The answer: ROCK LOBSTER!

I've unearthed my presidential campaign photo:

Also, driving to Dormont today, I was behind a guy with a bumper sticker that read "Smile! Your mother chose life!" And I'm thinking that our official campaign sticker should read "Frown! My mother's dead, you asshole! (Rock Lobster the Vote)". Any other suggestions?

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 07:38:52 GMT

A conversation I've had tonight reminded me of something Stephan Zweig, an Austrian novelist and poet, wrote:

"One never gets to know a person’s character better than by watching his behavior during decisive moments."

Zweig was an interesting guy and a great writer; the short story "The Royal Game" is an excellent story about chess and politics, with two socially inept people playing a game. It's widely considered one of the most illustrative examples of fictional counter-Nazi philosophy. This is tangential, though. The point is that Zweig committed suicide in 1942. So, what does that quote say about Zweig?

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 19:00:43 GMT

You know those crazy things that always happen to other people? You know how they tend to happen to me?

http://www.pennlive.com/news/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1162096805239490.xml&coll=1

I was one of the nine cars this guy hit. I was driving on the turnpike, noticed a truck speeding up behind me, slowed down a little. Guy merged into the left lane within feet of my bumper then merged immediatly back into the right lane- the right lane with me in it. He rammed us off the road and kept going.

Everyone in the car- me, Max, Mike, and Ryan- was fine, and as far as getting rammed by a semi goes, there wasn't a whole ton of damage. He fucked up one of my tires (and consequently the alignment) and he fucked up most of the drivers side of the car, but it could have been far worse. It took an hour and a half for the police to get to us because all of the turnpike police were busy chasing this guy.

So yeah, that was my excitement for the weekend.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 11:00:11 GMT

Been a while since a blowout soapbox. Here goes:

SOME OPINIONS ARE WRONG. There. I said it. And you can't even disagree with me, because it itself is a statement of opinion, so in the act of disagreeing with me, you prove me right. But, we'll leave that little loophole aside and explore what I mean. By "explore", I'll tell you what I mean, so there will actually be very little exploration on anyone's part.

First, statements of opinion are implied in english. It's considered poor form to say "In my opnion..." because if you're making a statement of opinion, then of course it's in your opinion, unless otherwise prefixed. The trouble here is that there isn't a clear line between statements of opinion and fact. For instance, "My bedroom has no ceiling" or "We should kill all the jews" or "Jesus Christ is the son of God" or "Trickle Down Economics has a positive effect on buisness". In each instance, I could argue the statement as fact. In each instance, a part or a majority of the world would disagree with me due to conflicting worldviews. Because many statements of fact are subjective, we've gotta go ahead and consider them opinions.

This brings us to contradictory opinions. In the case of contradictory opinions- such as an athiest and a Christian arguing over the Jesus thing- someone's gotta be wrong. So, that's scenario one where an opinion can, and must, be wrong. You could disregard that with something silly like "these are hypothosies", but what's the difference? Where's that line drawn? Is it simply a statement of taste?

Let's move on to "I hate jews." This is a statement of taste, and sure, it can be argued that a person can say it an mean it and that's there opinion, goddamn it. However, anyone with three brain cells to smash together could observe that anyone who holds that opinion hasn't met a large enough sample size of Jews to adequatly judge. In fact, barring complete sociopathdom, I'm pretty sure there's a jew out there that would meet with everyone's tastes in people. The Jews are a diverse and interesting race. So, our friend here is incorrect in his statement that he hates jews, because he doesn't know enough to draw that conclusion. It's simply too general to be correct, so his opinion is also wrong.

Let's now take our teenybopper friends into account. "Justin Timberlake is the best singer ever." Right, okay, they have a right to that opinion. But wait! Here again, we have the trouble of there being a lot of singers, most of whom are significantly better than Justin Timberlake. And here again, we have someone who doesn't know what they're talking about. Simply for lack of education, we can assume that anyone who says things about Justin Timberlake's vocal talent are either confused or ignorant, and consequently wrong. There's a loophole here, too, though: Statements like "Justin Timberlake is my favorite singer" are totally correct. These sort of statements might be the most factual statements possible, because they speak entirely to a subjective reality in which the speaker alone exists. I can't tell you Justin Timberlake isn't your favorite singer. I'm not you. I don't pick your favorites.

Similiarly, opinions can be weighted based on merit. If you talk to your friend at the beauty parlor about a foot problem, and then you talk to the podiatrist about the same problem, and they give you conflicting information, who should you side with? If you went with the podiatrist, you win a prize, and your friends opinion was either wrong or inadequate and invalid.

So, what makes a valid opinion? This is my definition, flying by the seat of my pants (well, I've been musing on this for a week or two now): An opinion is valid if it is a statement about which two sound-minded people, both reasonably well educated on the subject at hand, can disagree. If it is a statement that no rational person can disagree with, it is a fact. Now this doesn't remove the whole "wrong" thing- some people are going to have to be wrong regardless of definition- it does give a good groundwork of when to pay attention to opinions and things like that. Chances are, if the person bullshitting doesn't know what he's talking about, his opinions aren't worth listening to and are either totally invalid or wrong.

And now that I've typed that out, "You're entitled to your own opinion" will go on the list with "Life isn't fair" and "Comic books are for kids" as things people should never say to me unless they want to hear me rant for at least a half hour.

Cheers.

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:21:00 GMT

9 AM and here I am, awake. I guess that's what I get for sleeping till 4:30 in the afternoon and then drinking a bunch of caffiene with dinner at 6:00 AM.

Non smoking coffee shops are an abomination to God, man, and beast.

For lack of anything better to do, I'm gonna fill you in on a few observations about the state of movies in general:

The new breed of indy comedy is fucking obnoxious- Seriously, they need to quit. I Heart Huckabees, Garden State, Little Miss Sunshine; you know the ones I'm talking about. The poster all looks the same and somewhere on it there is a blurb from a critic calling it "quirky". "Quirky" is almost as big of a turnoff as "zany" at this point. These movies aren't bad, they're just depressingly the same, which is a shame because they're trying so damn hard to be different. I have nothing against movies with offbeat characters who do interesting things. Mean Girls was fantastic, Lost in Translation was excellent, early Woody Allen speaks for itself. What the new breed of mediocre movies needs to learn is that one interesting personality trait doesn't make a complete character, but rather, a single-dimension speakerbox for that trait. Worse, talented actors give excellent performances in movies that waste them, and nothing is more obnoxious than blown potential. Hire better writers and then make quirky movies and I'll be cool with it again.

Vin Diesel is a good actor- No, no, no. He's a good action star. I mean, the guy isn't oscar-worthy, but he has a great sense of comedic timing and better, a great sense of humor about who he is and what his role in society should be. In addition, he has a great classic-hollywood action star look and can sell lines like "I'll kill you with my teacup." All I'm saying is, I'd rather watch a Vin Diesel trashy action movie than a trashy action movie starring just about anyone else, and in my book, that makes him OK.

The only reason Jennifer Aniston still has a career is People Magazine- Of her last four movies, only one has a domestic gross of over $50mil, and none have managed an IMDB rating of 6.5 or better. She's never been a talented actress and Friends has been off the air for years. Under normal circumstances, I would assume she's stuck doing small venue stand-up and occasional motivational speaking, but no! People, InStyle, and the tabloids are keeping me posted about which other washed-up actors she's boffing and how she feels about her more famous and talented ex. Let her go, please.

Brick is awesome- and you should go rent it now. Check that, five minutes ago. Fantastic little movie.

Annnnnnnddd.... that's it. Cheers.

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 00:11:31 GMT

In the midst of a crisis, and I'm turning to public opinion for help.

In one week, I'm supposed to leave for Morocco and then to Germany. I've spent a good deal of the past few weeks preparing for this trip; teaching myself Arabic, learning cultural things, etc. The plan is to be in Morocco for roughly three weeks and then meet up with Tyler in Munich for Oktoberfest, and then spend a few weeks kicking around Eastern Europe with him.

The past week has been a long series of small-scale disasters of coincidence in terms of getting ready to leave. Flights and hotels have changed times and bookings on me; people essential to these plans have been difficult to contact; even my attempts to buy trekking sandals were fraught with difficulty, because my size apparently isn't standard to make trekking sandals in. To add an exclimation point, my credits cards have gone missing, either through absentmindedness or theft. It would take 7-10 buisness days to replace it; I have four, and I leave Sunday and tommorow is a holiday.

This adds an element of impracticality to the trip: I would have to go to a second-world country with nothing but travellers checks in USD, which are difficult to cash under the best of circumstances and expensive to use regardless. More to the point, my everything about this trip is currently screaming "trouble". My intuition has served me often and well, and it's telling me to just call the whole thing off. On the flipside, I have nothing I can pinpoint for this feeling other than small inconviences and tiny misgivings, and it could be based on nothing more than frustration.

To top that off, it would be a huge hit to my pride to just cancle everything. I've promised people crazy Morocco adventures, and moreover I've told Ty I'd meet him in Germany, and just bailing on all of that seems contrary to the Gentry travel ethic. I've never cancled a trip that I've already booked before, and I'm not really sure how to justify it on nothing more than gut feeling. However, I've never had this gut feeling before, and it's a bad one.

If you were me, what would you do? And moreover, since you're not me, what would you tell me to do?

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 03:55:18 GMT

Two things of note here.

First, last night a bug flew in the window, bit me, and flew out. What kind of bug does shit like that?

Second, I'm planning a trip for the end of august. Loosely considering New Zealand or perhaps Japan. My original travelling partner bailed, and so things are now very much in the lurch. The requirements are that it be on the far side of the world (Africa [Egypt, South Africa, or Kenya would all be valid], China, Pacifica, India, or Australia) and it take place in the tail end of August and/or early september. I'd also like to keep total costs included airfare around $2,000-$2,500; easiest way to do that would be a guided tour that included accomidation. If you would like to take a trip with me, are free in August, and have that kind of money sitting in the bank, you should give me a call. I'm open to suggestions and any given destination. Also, if you're reading this, I'm comfortable with taking a trip with you; don't play the "he doesn't know me well enough/wouldn't want to trip with me" game because it simply doesn't apply.

Cheers.

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 08:54:50 GMT

Two things of note happened today.

The first, I found out they are making a Rocky VI. I don't know whether to be excited or appauled. Sy Stallone is writing (he's written all the Rocky movies, as well as the First Blood movies and Cliffhanger) and directing, and, well, it might kick Snakes on a Plane out of the "most anticipated movie" slot.

The second, Mike pitched a d10 at me and chipped my tooth. This is interesting because it's not a six-sider, and it's not a twenty-sider. The way I see it, everyone knows about six-sided die, and most people are vaguely aware that, if you are geeky enough, you can purchase a 20-sided die. In addition, d8s come in some board games, and d12s are kind of a geek-chic in joke based on how obscure they are, so a d10 might just be the most unknown die availible on the open market. I had my tooth chipped by the ultimate extended metaphor for nerdiness. It's worth mentioning that it was a helluva throw- the "thunkCRACK" sound it made was very loud, and I felt the bit of tooth hit the back of my throat. It didn't tickle, either.

That's all from here. Cheers.

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 00:30:14 GMT

This image is copyright http://www.rowdydow.com and is the property of the photographer.

There's a story, yes, and more pictures. It's time for a cut.

So, the Pittsburgh Cacophony, a group of very odd folks who put together just strange world events, held a pillowfight on Flagstaff last night. I'm not gonna lie, it was a ton of fun; probably 75ish people showed up pre-movie, armed with pillows. A good half of them were 12 or under, the other half being a mix of college-age kids and bona fide adults. Our crew wound up being- from left to right, in the picture above- myself, Ben, Scuz, and Matt. We figured it wasn't worth doing unless we did it right, so facepaint, body armor, and pajama bottoms/fuzzy slippers/combat boots were in tow. Here it is:

Mike. He's blurry, but those are Taxi-themed pajama bottoms and a tie by Valentino.

Ben. The cape is Iron Maiden and the leather harness is the top half of a set of leather armor that he built himself. I honestly believe that a crotch pouch/running shoes combination is gonna become the next big style after the "large sunglasses" thing runs it course.

Matt, in his combat boots that have tread in Iraq and Happy Days pajama bottoms featuring The Fonz. Look at the fiercness on his face.

Mmm, I'm hot in fuzzy slippers and camo. The bandolier provided an excellent quick draw for the body pillow, which I primarily used as a stave. Camo done by Matt, with the finest military sensibilities in mind.

The fight itself went on for about half an hour. It was actually fairly physically taxing; I escaped with only a nice egg on the back of my head, courtesy of an 8-year-old girl, and Matt came out with a bleeding mouth. Initially it was just chaos, but towards the end we recruited little kids to form an attack line with us, singled out one target and ran through as calvary beating whoever was unlucky enough to have grabbed our eye. On the other side, we'd reform the line, and charge again. Now that we're into the next day, my whole fucking body aches, but it was a great time; you squares who missed it are totally lame. A more complete photoset of the whole activity can be found at http://www.rowdydow.com/gallery/?gid=2006-06-pillow ; in addition, there was a guy videotaping, and as soon as I have a link to what he put together, I'll post it in this journal.

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 23:27:11 GMT

I'm currently reading a book called Lord of Light by Roger Zelazny, which so far is fantastic. It's about a group of men who find a way to make themselves immortal and rule their planet as if they were the gods of the Hindu Pantheon, and along with Snow Crash, The Satanic Verses, and The Screwtape Letters it places as one of the finer books of religious fiction I've ever read. I was doing some research about the author, and I stumbled across a piece of writing from a different book (called Creatures of Light and Darkness) that I thought worth sharing. It is was most commonly refrenced as "The Agnostic's Prayer", and some of you may have read it already; I don't know how it's eluded me so far into my readings on religion and philosophy. It's a very funny bit of religious satire, so I went ahead and posted it for your enjoyment.

"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen."

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 21:09:03 GMT

THE GENTRY THURMAN GUIDE TO PROBLEM SOLVING

When posed with a problem, the first and most practicle thing to do is identify it and phrase in as neatly as possible. For the purposes of this walkthrough, I'll be making up a problem and showing you what I go through any time I have to resolve an issue.

Hypothetical Problem:
The milk in my fridge has gone sour.

Step 1:
If I ignore it, will it go away?

A good 80% of all problems resolve themselves. This is particuliarly applicable in the case of person-based drama; as a rule, if you've found yourself in a sticky social situation, if you ignore it for a few days, it will have come to a head and resolved itself without you. Leave it to the people who care, they'll work out a solution and you'll be clued in eventually. The other type of problem this will filter out is matters of illness or exhaustion; if you just pretend it isn't there, it'll leave and you'll feel better, catch a wind, or just generally be a step up. In this instance, if you ignore bad milk, it just gets worse, so I need to move on to step two.

Step 2:
Is it worth my time?

The trick here is that some problems just aren't worth resolving. For instance, my bank takes a small amount of money each month because I don't have direct deposit going into my account, and it's an account designed to recieve direct deposit. But, in order to fix it, I'd have to go open another account, fill out a lot of paperwork, and get new cards, account numbers, etc. That just doesn't sound worth it for $3 a month, not to me. So, this problem isn't resolved, and doesn't go away, but I can ignore it anyway. However, the milk in my fridge has a consistant negative effect (here, smelling skanky) so it does need to be taken care of. Step three.

Step 3:
What is the best possible resolution for this problem? What's the worst? What's most likely to happen?

Okay. The best solution of milk going bad is that it eventually achieves sentience, evolves at a rapid pace, and teaches me to build laser guns. Worst possible scenario is it's an avatar of Cthulhu that comes to life and devours us in an attempt to abate its endless hunger. Most likely to happen is that I go downstairs and throw it out. Since I can do nothing to bring about the best case scenario, and the worst case is extremely unlikely, I just have to work towards the likely one, which in this instance also requires the least amount of effort. Now I know what the appropriate solution to my problem is. Step four.

Step 4:
What needs to be done to achieve the solution I've decided on?

Now I need to figure out how much effort the problem will take to resolve, how much time it will take to resolve, and what the most efficient way to cope with it is. Drawbacks to each resolution are considered in this step. For instance, with the milk, I would walk downstairs and throw it in the garbage, which would take about a minute and a half. However, if I throw it in the kitchen garbage, the kitchen will start to smell skanky, so the best option is to walk it out to the outside trash can, which smells skanky anyway. This adds 30 seconds to the procedure, but provides a buffer against a new problem (the kitchen smelling bad) so it is the most effective solution. I'm ready to impliment the plan. Step five.

Step 5:
Would I rather be doing something else?

Yes. I go do whatever it is I'd rather be doing instead. I'll get to that problem eventually.

There you have it. The best way to resolve any life issue.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 06:05:35 GMT

"No, we're not joking" Says China. "Also, we've genetically engineered small pink elephants and occasionally jam with Hendrix and Lennon."

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 04:06:39 GMT

Time for a long-winded Gentry entry.

A man walked past me on the street today wearing a tee-shirt that said "Religion is for people afraid of going to hell. Spirtuality is for people who have already been there." I liked it a lot. In fact, it's probably the only tee-shirt that has spawned a long debate with myself about the tee-shirt's meaning. I've brought it down to a few things, and I'm gonna type them out here.

At first blush, you can take it as a play on words involving systems that believe in reincarnation. Many faiths that include reincarnation don't truely qualify as religions, as there is no diety or dieties to be worshiped. I know it's poor form to cite the dictionary, but according to the entry on religion, in order for a system to be a religion it must be a "belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe", so, say, Buddhism doesn't count. Spirituality, on the other hand, is just "The state, quality, manner, or fact of being spiritual", so Buddhism would fall under that catagory. Take it this way, and it's a denotative-based pun that isn't funny but is at least smart. The biggest problem with it in this respect is that it is displaying a cockyness that most reincarnation-based systems want to avoid, out of fear of being reincarnated as a very cocky turnip in a future life.

The more serious and interesting way to take it is as a statement of the difference between "religious" and "spiritual" people. I consider myself a fiercely spiritual person, but I don't have a religion worth mentioning. In addition, I think the vast majority of my friends fall under the same catagory; even those that identify themselves with a religion will happily tell you that they use the Church/Synagouge/Temple/Mosque as a means to get at what they believe, not as the purest dogma availible.   I asked a few people that I consider to be persons of faith to consider their beliefs, and when asked to "religious" or "spiritual", they universally chose spiritual. Perhaps this is because of the connotation of religion now, that it's fire-and-brimstone, Shiite-vs-Sunni, Jews-On-Muslims-On-Hindus-On-Communists extremests. In fact, I'd be willing to place money on that being why so few people will identify themselves as "religious", but like all stereotypes, those things start somewhere.

Right now, organized religion is presenting itself on the global scale as a fierce and evil thing. Christianity has gone batshit and taken over the US Government, the Indians and the Pakis are slaughtering each other over Kashmir, the middle east is more fucked than ever before, and Tibetian buddhists haven't been able to catch a break for 70 years. This extremism comes from preaching moral superiority; even though Mohammad and Jesus said basically the same things (hey, let's be nice to each other!) the Muslims think the Christians are damned, the Christians think the Muslims are evil, and everybody is bombing the fuck out of everybody. "Hey! There aren't really Christian suicide bombers!" No, Christian America can afford jet planes, so there's no need from them, but George Bush's heavenly mandate is the same thing as a man with C4 strapped to his chest: it's a desire to whipe a hated culture (read: religion) from the map. When I hear him talk about preserving the "American Way of Life", that somehow becomes the "Conservative Christian Way of Life" and his point makes a lot less sense to me. I can't argue that extreme Muslim cultures are doing all the right things, in fact, they're perhaps more twisted than any other major world religion. I also can't understand why the quick fix is to glassify the entire Arab world.

This all pulls back to the culture of fear that organized religion is trying to create, and why the statement "Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell" makes so much sense. Every major religious push from the crusades on up has understood that fear is the greatest mobilizing emotion. Salman Rushdie wasn't in hiding because he offended Muslims, he was in hiding because Muslims were promised paradise for killing him. The strictest and most extreme forms of religion are all about pushing people to do morally abhorrant things under the banner of an easy ticket out of hell. This is where religious extremeism takes its hold: you need to be afraid of what will happen if you aren't on our side.   Once people are suffieciently convinced of that, they are the most dangerous people on the planet.

On the flipside, "spirituality" is associated with personal growth. Perhaps ten years ago "Spirituality" was for new-age, unwashed hippies who owned the complete Silver Ravenwolf library and got naked to dance every full moon, but anymore spirituality and temperance are one and the same. More moderate churches that are preaching about how God loves you fall more easily into the catagory of places of spiritualism than dogmatic religion. Religion reolves around thousands of people believing exactly the same thing; spirituality revolves around finding what you believe and developing that belief. Now, if what you believe is that Jesus Christ is the son of God and died to save us from the pit, that's fine, and if you believe that Mohammad was the true prophet who came and attested to the full and living word of Allah, that's great too, provided you believe that because it's what you genuinely believe. If you're in it because you're been scared into submission, congradulations, you've found religion; if you're there because it helps you understand the world and gives you faith in the goodness of life and love, well, there you are, spirituality.

Mmmm, faith. What a slippery snake that is. It works both sides of the coin, and brings us back to "Spirituality is for people who have already been there". Salman Rushdie wrote "The opposite of faith isn't disbelief; it's doubt." One of my favorite quotes ever. Actual faith needs to be tested in order to exist. It doesn't matter how many times you've said the apostle's creed, until something happens that shakes your beliefs, they're just hollow words. Since doubt creates fear, and faith saves us from both fear and doubt, in order to be faithful you must not be afraid. That's what seperates the spiritual from the religious: religion is based on fear. If you've been through what should make you afraid, and found faith, you're spiritual.   Ultimatly, hell can't be scary; if you're a person of faith, you're safe from it. You've been in positions that should have terrified you and come out with stronger resolve. If you're just about the words and the books you should be horrified of hell. When it hits you, you're gonna recognize that something is missing.

Anyway, kudos to that guy for wearing a thought-provoking tee-shirt. I didn't know they existed. And if you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 21:55:21 GMT

Up until now, I've been unsure whether or not I have a file with the FBI. On one hand, I've done plenty of stupid shit that merited police attention, but on the other hand, most of it hasn't really been destructive enough for the bigwigs to notice. Now, though, I can sit comfortably knowing that my name, address, history, and fingerprints are on file with the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security.

The nice thing about it is that barring them freaking about about this little "warrent" that's out in my name (issued when I was a minor, so I don't think they care) I will have a pass that lets me through Pittsburgh International Airport security whenever I want, being as how I'm now an employee of TGIFridays, which is past the security lines. One of the funnier side affects of working there is that basically anything I do once past security is a felony. Even minor crimes in airports are considered really big deals.

Anyway, should be interesting. I start out there two weeks from Tuesday, at the latest. Cheers.

Wed, 24 May 2006 22:35:03 GMT

Rock Lobster is kicking back into full swing, and we're spending a good deal more time and effort (and probably money) on it then we did in 2004. But Gentry, why are you talking about it now, it's only mid 2006, over two full years before the election? Well, gentle reader, that's because we need your help.

I've contacted some of the people who were involved last year and let them know it's occuring, but some of them (most notably my running mate- eh, he'll be my VP even if he doesn't like it) have remained elusive. Also, like any political party, we view change as a very fluid, fluctuating thing; we change, year-to-year, forget some of our platforms, come up with new ones, and arbitrarily start disliking people who may have held cabinet posts before. As a result, we need new, fresh, vibrant faces (with keyboards) to fill those posts.

If you were involved in 2004, your spot will be given to you if you want it back. If you weren't, we can find a place for you in our political machine. What we're looking for is people willing to write essays about a satirical platform we might hold- we'll give you a title to back our bid for the White House. When Rock Lobster congealed in 2004, the idea of the book Rock Lobster the Vote: The Rise and Fall of a Political Party was kicked around, but we just didn't have enough time to write it out and get it to publishers, so it got scrapped. This time, though, we have plenty of time. If you're interested in joining us, we'll expect one or two 6 to 10 page essays on something that could reasonably be a political platform that jives with our Rock Lobster 'tude. Examples:

* We believe that the minimum wage needs to be raised to a living wage, and there's no point in living if you can't live well. We'll set the minimum wage at $120,000/yr. However, there needs to be a wage cap, because some people make way too much money. We figure $50,000 a year is good enough. Technically, we call this "wage-slave economics", but around the office it's known more casually as "trickledownlickmyassholedickhead".

*Americans get behind war too easily, at least partially because we don't understand the full cost. Ours is the most expensive, well trained, and well disciplined military in the world; this is an unfair advantage. If our casualties were higher, we're be less likely to jump at the chance to fight things; the best way to resolve this is to arm all our soldiers with shovels. Shovels are an effective weapon, but they also give the other guy a fair chance, and would make people much less likely to be excited about fighting.

*We need to crack down on frivilous lawsuits and re-legalize dueling. It frees up our courts and provides easy conflict resolution for stupid people.

*Littering should be legal, except in national parks. If you are found littering in a national park or nature reserve, we should drag you to an altar and sacrifice you to the god of that park.

*We don't have a stance on gay marriage. In fact, we don't really understand why we should care.

There you have it. You'd be asked to come up with one or two of your own and elaborate on it enough to write something about it. Bullshit statistics, bullshit ideas, whatever. Once we have enough material assembled, we'll be putting it into some sort of order, doing some editing, and trying to get it published. It's the kind of thing that publishers would like, and moreover it gives us an excellent jumping off point for the 2008 campaign. If you're interested in helping with this project, or if you have any questions, whatever, this is the place to post, or e-mail me at gentry.thurman@gmail.com . Best case, it's a fun way to get your name in print; worst case, we assemble some funny writing and generally have a good time with things. If you're not interested, but you know someone who might be, feel free to direct them to this entry and to my e-mail. Cheers, and remember- ROCK LOBSTER THE VOTE!

Tue, 23 May 2006 22:46:38 GMT

Remember when rap meant something? Try to, anyone reading this is old enough to be able to come up with it. Rap in its infancy was aggressive, fast, and socially conscious. The black community, angry that even years and years after the social rights movement there was nothing to show progress, invented a form of music. It was a small group of talented people who got together because they wanted to change something and they produced art. When Run DMC recorded their version of Walk this Way, it was more than a catchy pop song; it was an invasion of mainstream culture that announced what rap music was and that it was going to stick around. It acknowledged where music was and said "This is our way. We're going to make a difference in the world, and you're going to deal with it." Regardless of intention, men like IceT, Public Enemy, and Run DMC took a fledgling movement and blew it up into one of the most important cultural revolutions of our time.

That is why fans of rap should currently be ashamed. Rap used to be about making a difference and fighting the powers that be to loosen a classist society and remove the last chains of oppression from black America. The men who started it produced music that would appeal to an entire generation and used that music as a tool to spread an important and political message. What's left of that? Not a god damn thing. I'm sure you've all heard Nelly's top-10 single "Grillz", lyrics to be found here. I actually can't even regard what rap currently is as culture, much less a revolution. Inventing small bits of metal that slip over the teeth and finding a way to make it trendy? Sure, capitalism, baby. Writing songs about them and selling that to the same people you sold the useless stuff to in the first place? Depending on who I'm talking to, how big they are, and whether or not they want to hire me, that's either a great marketing scheme or just idiocy. Culture, it is not. In keep with what rap was meant to be? No fucking way. Shameful. I guess it proves the best way to fight a shift in pop culture is to buy it, water it down, and resell it. Punk will be alive as long as there are teenagers; rap died with Tupac. Perhaps the worst of it is that Rap used to be predominantly anti-violent, viewed as a way to escape poverty and the gang lifestyle. Now, ganstas are glorified and violence is synonomous with various styles of rap, marking a complete reversal of the use of the form.

This brings me to a movie I watched recently called Rize. If you like dance, if you like rap, or if you have any interest in how trends in pop culture develop, go rent it now. Like, stop reading and drive to blockbuster. It's worth your time.

The movie chronicals a group of dancers in the bad parts of LA. A new form of dance is developing there, sometimes called "clowning" other times called "krumping" (As far as I can tell, clowning was the original, and krumping is a more violent, fast-paced spin off movement; clowners think krumpers "do it retarded" and krumpers think that the clown dance can't evolve). I can't describe what it looks like, really, but I'll try. Imagine Bruce Lee and Gene Kelly had an epileptic child who took break dancing lessons. Something like that. The movie opens with a title card informing us that no footage in the film has been sped up in any way, and the movie does right by telling us that at the outset. Even now, I have a hard time believing it. The wild limb movements, pulsating torso, and impressive legwork occur so quickly that I had to watch some of the dancers multiple times to understand what their body did, let alone how they did it. The dance itself is unimportant, though, compared to how it started and what it means.

As a style, it was originated by a former drug dealer turned children's entertainer called Tommy the Clown. He came up with Clowning as a hip-hop dance to use at parties, and it caught on and evolved. He opened an academy to train and teach the dance, and soon enough troupes of dancers were spotting up, called "clown groups" who worked as street entertainers and began to teach the dance themselves. Eventually, one of the main clown troupes split off, and under their leader Tight Eyez, made the dance more aggressive and violent and proclaimed it Krumping. These kids are not classically trained dancers. They're just inner-city kids, brought up in the angriest and most dangerous neighborhoods in America, who have taken what they have and made it art. Sound familiar? It should be a wake-up call to the rap community: what you have is fake. This is real. The great strength of the movie comes from its focus on the positive, even when one of the dancers is shot in a random drive-by, and Tommy the Clown's house is broken into and trashed while he is away at a competition. The kids in this movie are dancing out of pure need to dance, in favor of joining a gang or doing drugs. The collection of things they've assembled into this movement- music, training, their bodies, spirituality, whatever- this is culture. It's a developing, changing culture as the dance splits into its different styles (clowns and krumpers alike hate the oversexed varient they call the "stripper dance"). Watching it was a harsh reminder of how little rap means now and how far its come from its roots. Hopefully Krumping won't follow in its footsteps.

It's very possible you all know about Krumping by now, and I'm just living a hole. Whatever, finding out about it was impressive, to say the least. I hope it continues to grow, and continues to have such a legitimate, refreshing feel to it. I gotta be honest, it'd be nice to have rap mean something again, and it's very, very nice to see that not everything has been crushed out of the movement.

Wed, 03 May 2006 22:40:42 GMT

Endless amounts of fun.